holiday stress

For years I found myself dreading each and every holiday because of the impact it had on my gifted child.  Halloween meant weeks of avoiding stores with masks,  Christmas meant trying again to explain why we get gifts, Thanksgiving was agreeing that we should be thankful everyday but it's nice to be intentional.  This list goes on.  Not only was it a challenge to explain the holiday and our societies reaction to it but the disruption in our schedule and 'how things look different at the stores or on the streets' meant anxiety (hers and mine!) was at an all time high.

Here's some tips that helped our house survive:

- reducing expectations around the holidays for both child and the rest of the family.

- making every effort to maintain routines (for us, that meant keeping our school routine running longer into holidays because it had a calming effect)

- visual schedules that showed families activities or changes in schedule

- increases calming activities (deep pressure, classical music, heavy work)

- open dialogue without judgement about child's feelings about holiday (it's hard to hear your young child say that the don't like a holiday but allowing them to express their feelings is important for them and will decrease their stress levels)

- supporting them in finding solutions to their concerns.  ie; if they are concerned about the impact on the environment that the decorations are having, work to find a strategy to reduce footprint.  At Thanksgiving or Christmas, work on a project to help those in need.  Your child probably already has an idea on what they feel should be done, just talk about it and help them get it done.

- allowing them to have input on decorations and putting them up slowly (I found it was best to talk about decorating, have her involved in bringing out decorations and letting the boxes just sit in the room for a day or two before putting them up.  At Christmas, having the tree up was a big deal and I found my child avoiding the room it was in and avoiding looking at it.  When things were quiet, I would take her into the room and sit with her to help her get used to changes in the room.)

- breaks from the holiday.  Try not to make every moment about the upcoming holiday and allow them some space away from decoration or discussions about the holiday.  Perhaps read a story in a bedroom rather then the decorated living space.  Stay home more and keep the media out of your home while the season is being advertised.

- allow them to research how the holiday started and how it's changed over the years or how it's celebrated in other countries and cultures.

What has been your experience?  What are some of the strategies that have worked in your home?

Creating community

I've talked about creating a blog for several years and am excited to have this opportunity!  Thank you for taking time to join us.

I remember spending many hours on the internet, looking for people that had shared a similar experience of trying to raise a gifted child.  Looking for some answers, ideas, success stories or even someone who could relate!

That's what we want to offer you here.  A community where we can share our ideas, struggles, joys and belong.  Please take time to comment on posts.  That will make this experience far richer for all of us!  Let's create conversation and learn together!

I'll aim to post a new topic every couple of weeks, at least, but leave a comment and check back regularly to continue the dialogue.  Let's go deeper together.

Self Care: they're settled in. . . now what about you?

I've been a wife for over 18 years, a mother for over 14 and a homeschooler for 10.  I know what it is to serve.  I know how important it is to place the needs of our family as a high priority.  I take some offence to our societies constant message to put ourselves first.  I LOVE serving my family!  I consider it one of the greatest gifts God gave me and wouldn't trade my role for anything.

BUT.

It is important to take care of you.  Your husband needs a healthy wife.  Your wife needs a healthy husband. Your kids need a healthy mother.  Right?

So, what are you doing to take care of you this year?